Can you capture the stories that put you in a dilemma? This is very tricky. These negative thoughts happen quickly, sometimes quietly, and very frequently. In fact, 95% of our thoughts are unconscious, and 80% of them are negative. So if you don’t know what’s driving you, that’s completely normal. But imagine if you could grab that story and change it, how powerful that would be?
“Life is punishing me because I’m a bad daughter“.
“I don’t care.”
“It’s hard for me to be friends.”
“My husband would be better off without me.”
These are just some of the stories I’ve seen over the past week. None of them are true. All of this is painful. Obviously, they didn’t serve me. What now?
When these stories spread unchecked, they show up in how you communicate with your partner, how you behave at work, and how you navigate your daily life.
Take control of your life story
One trend I’ve noticed with my clients is that they keep pushing these stories aside and burying them deep inside. Or let them take over and create the reality of how they move in the world. Both angles are dangerous and can produce adverse results.
A popular story I hear is, “I should be grateful for everything I have. Some people have it worse.” This stops you from wanting more like a corner office, an upgrade to first class, or just having silly conversations with your partner instead of covering household logistics.
The problem is, it’s hard to know or understand that these are just stories. When negative noise echoes in your head all day, it’s like screaming into an echo chamber. Plus, your brain is working hard to quickly categorize information. Because these stories may be deeply rooted in early life experiences, your brain sees them as evidence rather than fiction. “Just quickly file it into the ‘Been there’ box so we can move on to the next piece of information.”
This happens quickly, and it can quickly affect your mood, confidence, communication, and decision-making. But what if you slow down the process?
cost of thinking
I get it. We live in a society that values speed. Everything needs to be done faster. The average adult internet user has an attention span of 8.25 seconds, can only focus on a screen for about 47 seconds, and will only spend about 10 minutes focusing on a work project before moving on to something else.
But faster isn’t always better. People who switch tasks take 25 minutes to refocus properly. Not being able to stay on one screen means you’re missing context and more likely to be misled by it.
The same thing happens with your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. When you don’t slow down and examine more thoroughly, these thoughts can affect how you feel, creating sadness, insecurity, depression, guilt, and shame. The thought then combines with the negative emotion to become a belief. They run the show like puppet masters.
My journey of exploring stories
I became fascinated with the process of uncovering these stories. In my own healing journey, I was treated by five different therapists over 15 consecutive years, and they offered a variety of ways to support me wherever I was at. I visited immersive wellness resorts in multiple countries, met with therapists, and experienced new ways of growing. I have worked with coaches (and continue to do so) to support my expansion. My husband says I read voraciously, reading a new book every week to continue my education, evolution, healing, and finding more and more ways to help my clients.
Despite all of this, I still found it difficult to follow the story. So how can we expect ordinary people to see their stories? This is an unfair request. There is another problem I want to solve.
The 13-step process for regaining your power
To help my clients create their dream life without destroying their current reality, I break the process down into 13 steps. That’s what it takes to identify a story and turn it into something that works for you. My process involves mindfulness techniques because we need to regulate our nervous systems along the way and show our hyper-alert brains that it is safe to dream, think differently, and create positive change. It includes a bit of silliness because this journey can feel heavy and we need help letting go of the negativity. It keeps you inspired.
One thing I love about dreaming is that it can help you reveal some of the nonsense in your head. When you’re brave enough to keep exploring, you’ll feel the thrill of desire again. Going through the process I created means you are not just wishful thinking. You believe deep down in your soul that you are worthy and deserving of this dream life. With this solid foundation, anything is possible.
When you know what to look for, this transformation happens faster than you think. When you have support. I’ve seen clients go from “I know this is a pipe dream” to “I will have this, I deserve it.”
Ready to hear your story?
Life didn’t punish me. I’m a good person. I do matter. I love easily. I make an amazing contribution to my husband’s life every day. No matter what mean thing you say to yourself, it’s a lie.
What is the cost of continuing to ignore these stories? Another year of feeling disconnected from yourself, your partner, and your life. Another year of your dreams being buried under a never-ending to-do list.
Let’s take a look at this story so you can live more confidently, more easily, and dream those big, beautiful dreams. If this resonates, I’d love to explore these stories with you. hurry up On my calendar. We’ll spend 30 minutes identifying what’s bothering you and creating a shift in your life that makes you the protagonist rather than the supporting character.